Friday, June 10, 2011

He chooses the incapable

It all started when my parents dropped me off at the RDU airport bright and early on a Tuesday morning. "Ok, so...what do I do?" I asked, looking around the terminal for some sort of sign to tell me where to take the next step of my journey to Uganda.
My parents looked at each other-worried glances-and then laughed nervously. "Um, are you sure you can do this?" Dad joked.
"YES I can do this...I just don't know what to do first!" It was my first time flying since I was 5 years old-I was clueless, as you might guess. If there was a book called "Flight Travel for Dummies" it should've been given to me. In fact I really wish I'd read that-I like to know what to do ahead of time so I don't HAVE to look stupid and ask questions that raise eyebrows. Sorry...that's beside the point.
Eventually I found that I love flying, and my fears of emergency crash landing subsided. But that initial feeling, that "I'm in WAY over my head" realization, didn't. On that plane ride to Philly to wait for another plane to take me to my Amy, I did a little reality check.
"I'm crazy!"
was the conclusion. But then God reminded me that although I am far from qualified for this work here in Uganda, much less the work I want to do after this, He doesn't choose me because I'm able. He chooses those who are willing to follow Him anywhere-especially when where He takes you doesn't make sense.

Took my buddy Jonah to a local restaurant <3

I didn't have a clue about flying. So He let me experience it solo-and I loved it.

I definitely didn't know how to navigate through an airport. So He led me by the hand through 3-didn't even have to ask for help!

International travel was certainly beyond my intelligence, but He's helped Amy and I through every single step. Getting Visas here in Uganda was a concern for us, but He provided us with a seasoned missions team from Ireland to show us where to go!

The poverty and despair here is so heavy that I just can't even cry. This girl that barely remembers whether her car is an automatic or stick shift hasn't the faintest idea what to do to make a difference here. I laugh when people say to me, "Oh working with orphans is perfect for you! You're so experienced and good with kids!" I'm so incapable of knowing where to even start with these kids! Everywhere I turn I see more that needs to be done, more lives that just need someone to show the love of Jesus to them, and I can't. I'm just not Jesus.But He can use me to show love to a handful of orphans-and it's only because I can't help everybody that He can use me to help anyone at all. I'd like to be SuperGirl and do something for every single hurting person I come across, but that's His job. My job is to be one part of His arm that is stretching out across the globe.
The arm can't move without the brain. I can't do anything without Him behind it. And I'm so glad He's with me.

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